Jenmac's Shoebox

Things I Learned At Odyssey of the Mind World Finals

2010-06-01T07:54:00.013-05:00

My son's Odyssey of the Mind team made it to the World Finals, held in Michigan on the Michigan State University campus. It was a HUGE honor to get there, especially given our somewhat sketchy start.

For anyone not familiar with Odyssey of the Mind (OM), let me explain a little about the program. Children are selected for their team based upon their creativity. Once the teams (made up of between 5-7 children) are selected, they begin working on their long-term problem. They are allowed absolutely NO outside assistance. Parents, teachers, coaches, classmates cannot help them. Not even to make a suggestion. They have to create everything themselves - skit, costumes, set, props.

Our problem this year was "Food Court". Each member portrayed a piece of food. One item accused another of being unhealthy. The argument was taken to a jury who decided whether or not the accused was guilty. The skit had to be comical in nature and the jury could not be portrayed by the team members (basically, they had to create a jury out of props and find a way to make the jury signal what their verdict was without touching said jury).

They also compete in a spontaneous problem where they are given a problem and 1-2 minutes to come up with a solution (or a list of solutions) on the spot.

The team went to our regional competition with a script that was barely a week old. The parents were skeptical that we would even make it to State Finals. The kids never gave up hope. They walked out for their performance and killed it, adding new hilarious parts that none of us had seen before. Later it was announced that we had placed 3rd, making us eligible for State. We went to State and once again the kids surprised us with a really funny, well thought-out script. We worried about their spontaneous problem though, our little team hasn't always done great at those.

Later at the awards ceremony, they announced that the top 2 teams from each division would be eligible for World Finals. Imagine our surprise when we were announced as the 2nd place team. Turns out, our kids got 100 out of 100 possible points in spontaneous! Who knew! (Here's their reaction to learning that they would be going to Worlds: Kids attack!)

So after 6 weeks of frantic fundraising, we boarded a charter bus with 3 other teams from our area and took off. Destination: East Lansing, MI.

These are some observations I made along the way:

1) When the GPS keeps saying, "Turn right, turn right...recalculating...turn right, turn right...redirecting...turn right, turn right...redirecting". It might be a good idea to tap your bus driver on the shoulder and point out that perhaps the GPS lady is correct. If not, you may end up on some dark, two-lane road on the outskirts of St. Louis.

2) There is no way to get comfortable enough to get a good night's sleep on a bus...unless you're a 10 year old child with a nice plush mommy to lie upon.

3) It is impossible to have a group of people number-off when the guy designated as #1 is always missing...always.

4) People from Michigan that say it doesn't get hot there are LIARS. All of them.

5) While people of the world will go to war over the stupidest things, kids of the world will find a reason to celebrate over the tiniest things. "Hey, you're wearing a red t-shirt, so am I! Yea! Let's be friends!"

6) Dorm showers haven't gotten any better.

7) Dorm food hasn't gotten a whole lot better either and reminded me why I spent a large portion of my college years as a vegetarian.

8) Kids 'round the world love banging incessantly on pianos.

9) Cotton/poly t-shirts are hot. Literally.

10) No matter how much you can't stand a song, once you attach an awesome memory to it, you'll find your disdain for that particular song ever decreasing. Closing ceremonies and the Black Eyed Peas

11) Even 10-year-olds from Poland know the "Thriller" dance.

12) A child properly trained in the art of Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, and Bakugan trading will be a master at World Finals pin trading.

13) Not all teenagers are sled-stealing, hit-and-run driving turds.

14) NASA is just as cool to me now as it was when I was a kid.

15) My kid thinks the same about NASA.

16) Introducing a 10-year-old boy who dreams of being a scientist to an actual scientist from NASA is like introducing an 8-year-old girl to Justin Bieber.

17) Communal living is not as fun as an adult as it was as a teenager...unless there's a communal "mommy cooler" involved.

18) You can spend 4 days of your life sweating, walking, hiking up and down stairs repeatedly, and eating healthy and come home to a scale that says you've gained 2 pounds.

19) "Inappropriate" is my new favorite word.

20) Even though a team of 9 and 10-year-olds was not declared the World Champions, they will cheer fervently for the team that was.

21) People from Hong Kong, Singapore, Korea, China, Poland, Germany, Russia, and Mexico may not know much English, but they know Flat Stanley.

22) People from Hong Kong think Michigan is hot too.

23) Once an Omer, always an Omer. My memories of competing in the "Camelot" problem in 1984 came back to me as I watched my son go through the process.

24) Don't give up. Ever. You just might find that your "little team that could" ended up in 9th place in the world. NINTH PLACE!!! WOOT!

25) Perhaps the biggest lesson I learned is that if the grown-ups of the world acted more like the kids of the world, we'd live in a much happier place filled with hot dogs, cotton candy, snow cones, flashy lighted necklaces, and airplanes that soar powered only by the fuel of imagination... and a couple of strategically placed rubber bands.

Preston and one of his new friends from Singapore

*stepping off my shoebox*
-Jenmac

I'm still alive!

2010-02-11T16:13:00.007-06:00

Hello readers (if there are any of you left)!

Funny how life gets in the way sometimes, huh? I guess I don't really have any excuses since technically I'm not working right now, nor have I been since last January. I say "technically" because while I don't have a full-time job that I officially have to show up for every day, I am in fact writing full time. Just not on this blog, obviously.

My first novel came out a year-ago last month. My second novel came out in November. My third novel would be out now, but I'm in the running for a major publishing deal so I'm holding onto it until I know something for sure.

Since my first book came out, I've been inundated with friends, acquaintances, even strangers who have all given me the same, "I've always wanted to write a book. You did it, so I'm going to write one too." I don't even know how to respond to this. Part of me wants to be offended, and another part of me is flattered in that whole "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery" way. My response made me question why I would take this negatively. Normally I try to think the best of people, and I always want to encourage people to follow their dreams. Then it hit me. Most of the people who have approached me with their oh-so-logical "well, you did it, so I know I can too" attitude haven't had the lifelong dream of writing a book. It's a whim. Nothing more. I guess that's what upset me. Because, trust me, it has been a lifelong dream of mine to become a writer. It's almost as if they're implying that my dream has little worth because it is so easy to achieve. (Yes, I know this is my overactive imagination hard at work. I don't think anyone really thinks this deep down.)

I started preparing for this in primary school. I decided I would make my own greeting cards. From there I started writing plays for my barbie dolls to act out. As I got older, I began writing short stories, skits, and such for school. At 12 I was making feature films with my parents' VHS recorder (you know the huge ones that have to rest on your shoulder). My sister and cousins played the starring roles, the supporting cast were our cabbage patch kids.

Once I made it to junior high and high school, there was no denying - I was a writer. Friends would commission short stories from me as keepsakes. My parents allowed me to attend a writing seminar at our local college. I was the youngest person in attendance and received a number of funny looks from my college-aged fellow attendees. I still managed to make a good impression on the author leading the seminar who told me to "keep it up." In high school, I was lucky enough to be included in a round-table discussion with none other than Maya Angelou. At the time I was too starstruck to form any intelligible questions, but the experience was worth so much to me.

My senior year of high school I was given a choice - take AP calculus and be assured to make it into the top 10 of my class, or take creative writing and be downgraded to top 25. I figured it's all just numbers (both calculus and my graduating position) so I signed up for creative writing. During the year I wrote and illustrated a children's book, wrote short stories on a weekly basis and learned the art of critiquing other writers. The lessons were invaluable. I also began entering essay-writing contests on top of my ever-growing mountains of homework.

When selecting my college, I took stock of all the universities that had so kindly offered me scholarships. A number even wanted me for their honors programs. The final decision wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. University of Arkansas had one of the top creative writing departments in the country. Decision made. (The fact that it was close to home also helped out too.)

I enrolled as an English and journalism double major with an emphasis on creative writing. Yes, the course work made it the equivalent of triple-majoring. I didn't care. I worked my ass off and learned so much from those most esteemed professors. I made the Dean's list during my hardest semester. I earned the only compliment one professor had ever been known to give during my fiction workshop. I wrote a play during another class which was produced and performed at the university theater. My journalism professors trusted me enough to refer me to any newspaper in the country. Too bad I had decided against the newspaper path. Creative writing was calling my name.

Since graduating I've never stopped writing. I've written film/literary/music reviews for an online newsgroup as well as my local paper. I wrote two sitcom pilots for Bravo. (Neither was produced, but I wrote them and am still proud of them.) I write two blogs. I've got at least 4 more novels planned for the near future and I belong to a group of fellow novelists who I can go to when I need help, motivation, critiquing, or just a good swift kick in the butt.

So, as you can see, I've done the leg work. I know writing. I understand it. Writing and me, we go way back. I'm never further than about ten feet from my Strunk & White. I'm not saying someone shouldn't write a book just because they didn't major in English. Some of our greatest works wouldn't exist if that were the case. Just know that when you approach me with the attitude that what I've accomplished in my life was easy, it hurts, and it's certainly not true. For my friends who have started down their own paths as writers and are taking it seriously, you know what I mean! It ain't easy!

And on a much happier note, I give you my dream shoe...I figure I achieved my dream of becoming a novelist, maybe someday I can achieve the dream of owning these babies.

Yes, the Manolo Blahnik Sedaraby D'Orsay in silver, with the 4" heel, not the 3 1/2".

Let's just take a moment to bask in its glory.

*sigh*

*drool*

*longer sigh*

*touches the screen longingly*

Their story:
If shoes were a religion, these would be the Holy Spirit. They're enigmatic. They inspire. They shine. Oh, look at how they shine.

So, if any of you, my loyal, beautiful, lovely, terribly intelligent readers has an extra...oh...$800 laying around, I accept paypal, Visa, Mastercard, American Express, Discover, Diner's Club, cashier's check, regular check, money orders, cash, pennies... I thank you in advance.

Stepping off my shoebox,
Jenmac

2009-10-22T19:59:00.002-05:00

The Roller Coaster

2009-01-12T16:58:00.008-06:00

Sorry it's been awhile.

The holidays were quite the roller coaster this year.
Of course as you know I decided to enter NaNoWriMo this year. I'm so very glad I did. I ended up actually starting on November 3rd, so I was already behind right out of the gate. However, by the 25th I had written over 53,000 words to win! Yes, that's right, I'm a NaNo winner. *does pageant wave*

I decided I really like the novel I wrote. No, it's not the next Great Gatsby that I've always hoped to someday write, but it is a nice little piece of chic lit. Of course, I'm totally biased. You know, the funny thing is, it's exactly the type of thing I always swore I'd never write, but alas once I put pen to paper, or rather fingers to keyboard - that's what came out of my head. I guess deep down, I'm a romantic after all.

After I finished my novel, we had family in town for Thanksgiving, then came Christmas and all that excitement. We had a really nice Christmas and I hope all of you did as well.
After Christmas came New Year's and my sister and her daughter came up to visit. It was good to see them, but I always try to do too much when we have company and once they left I was exhausted. I also found out that a close loved one had passed away on New Year's Day. It was something that was expected, she had been battling cancer for quite some time, but it doesn't make the pill any less bitter. She was my cousin's sister-in-law, but I always considered her part of our family. In fact our families always did so much together, so I think I was a teenager before I even realized that we weren't technically related. All of her family and a large group of my family came up for her funeral. It's rare that I get to see them anymore, so it was really nice to get to spend some quality time with them, despite the terrible circumstances and the fact that the mood was rather somber.

The day of her funeral I had to meet with my boss. He wanted to let me know that due to the economy our area of the company was shutting down, so I was being laid off. Part of me knew it was coming, the other part didn't want to believe it though. Alas, it's true.

When I told Joe of my misfortunes, I asked him what he thought I should do and without even stopping to think about it, he said, "Publish your novel." He's actually read the novel, so I'll take that as a compliment. I know it was probably torture for a male sci-fi fan to read through my very woman-oriented prose, but he did. And I love him for it. So, I'm working on editing the novel right now so I can begin the process of submitting it to various publishers. Hopefully I'll find one that likes it. In the meantime, I will probably self-publish it on createspace.com just so I can get it out there. Once it's available, trust me, you'll be the first to know...well, maybe second after my family...or third after my facebook friends...okay, so you'll be no less than sixth to know!
I think that catches you all up on my two-month roller coaster ride. I know people who complain about the ups and downs of life, but to me, it just keeps the ride interesting.

Here's to a wonderful 2009! Cheers to you all! *clinks glasses*

And a fun shoe to get the new year started off on the right foot, so to speak...

These are what I call my amusement park shoes, simply because they are so comfy I could wear them to Six Flags and not regret it at the end of the day!

Their story:
They caught my eye simply for their resemblance to every pair of shoes my Barbie wore, and because they're red, my favorite color!
These shoes marked my return to singledom many years ago after leaving a less than savory boyfriend who preferred his women to wear running shoes and flip-flops.
With this pair of shoes, I began to reclaim my femininity and sense of style. They were symbolic of my new beginning, and thus I felt it fitting that they be my first shoe of the day for this year. For anyone hoping to make big changes this year, just remember this line from Rent, "No day, but today!"

*stepping off my shoebox*
-Jenn

NaNoWriMo Takes Over...

2008-11-03T13:43:00.005-06:00

So, for 5 years I have thought about doing NaNoWriMo. It always sounded WAY too scary for me though. For anyone not familiar - NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month. It takes place each November and participants are given 30 days to write a 50,000 word novel.
This year, in an effort to not let myself down, I signed up. A day late of course, so I started the race already 1200 words behind...Today I am sitting at 1528 words, but I've gotten my chapters lined out and feel really good about it.

So in an effort to get my 50,000 in I may be absent from the blog for a bit. Not that I've exactly been a daily blogger. I just didn't want my long-distance friends to think I had fallen off the face of the earth!

And so before I head back to my skeleton of a novel, I give you today's shoe...
These are my black and white polka-dotted ankle-buckle Mary Janes. If a shoe can be creative, these are my most creative shoes.

Their story:
I was invited to a swanky cocktail party at one of the oil company headquarters in Houston, TX and I was almost broke. So I searched vintage shops in my area for a great dress. I found a black mini dress with white collar and cuffs and large white buttons down the front. It was adorable in a very 60's Twiggy sort of way. I knew I would be able to wear it to the party and not blend in with the rest of the crowd (very important to me at the time). I searched high and low for the perfect shoes to go with the dress and came across these. With the money I saved buying the vintage dress, I splurged a bit on these, knowing that I may not wear them as often as I'd like. It's been 12 years since then and I still love them! (After writing this, I may have to bring the dress out of the back row of the closet and let it make an appearance this holiday season!)

*stepping off my shoebox*
-Jenn

Just a quick note before hitting the campaign trail...

2008-10-13T09:19:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure how this happened, but I am humbled...
http://www.tsgnet.com/pres.php?id=357563&altf=Kfoojgfs&altl=NdDmpsz

Gotta run! Got lots to do! :)
-Jenn

Some words from the man who SHOULD be running for President...

2008-10-07T08:29:00.005-05:00

Many of my buddies are staunch Liberals. Most wouldn't understand why I've been more conservative for most of my adult life. Here I have some words from Mike Huckabee which will show you why I love this guy, and why I'm saddened that I won't be able to place a vote for him in just a few short weeks. People like The Huck are what I believe the Republican party SHOULD be about. The following is from his show "Huckabee" on Fox News Network:

"Members of Congress are busy congratulating themselves for the passage of the massive and staggering bailout of Wall Street, but the only cheers from most Americans is the Bronx cheer for the bodacious Beltway Bailers.

"On behalf of the hard working American people, here’s my message to Congress:

"We recognize that you felt compelled to “do something” but you wonder why we aren’t breaking our hands applauding you for it. Let me explain: Even the people who supported your $700 bailout did so only because they felt there was no other choice. Any congratulations you get will have to come from those really smart guys on Wall Street because outside your rarefied bubble of high priced air, the whole thing stinks.

"For the most part, your bosses are not happy—I’m talking about your REAL bosses—the ones who struggle to pay for groceries and gasoline each week and the ones you ought to spend more time with. These folks are in fact, not just unhappy, but livid, furious, raging, and seething with contempt. The problem, we’re told, is with the regulators. Actually, that’s not true. The problem is that you failed to regulate the regulators….that was supposed to be your job, but you guys instead filled your campaign coffers with ready cash from the nice people at the big Wall Street houses and looked the other way while these starched collar crooks put hundreds of millions in their pockets and walked away obscenely rich and left the tab to the taxpayers.

"I don’t resent that people make money. God bless those who do, as long as they do it honestly. But Franklin Raines piloted Fannie Mae right into the ground and walked away from the crash with $90 million cash. Nice work when you can get it…. Some retired teacher’s pension fund in Kansas went from comfortable to comical… You saved Freddie, but taxpayers are going to take it in the Fannie.

"People are really, really mad, and I hope the anger carries to the ballot box. It’s time to make real changes in this country-- real restructuring of the systems that have led us to this economic free-fall.

"Congress, the crisis is not in the credit market—it’s in the credibility market. And it’s YOUR credibility that’s in crisis… 47 million people are uninsured, but you haven’t fixed it because you are insured. Millions of Americans have seen their pension values drop to nothing, but you haven’t stopped it because your extraordinary pension is protected.

"Instead of asking my future grandchildren to co-sign a $700 Billion note so you could convince yourselves that you had “fixed” this, you should have made some really bold decisions that might have actually addressed the root causes. Getting rid of capital gains taxes, changing the mark to market accounting rules that created some of the artificial devaluation of assets, and insuring bad loans instead of actually buying them are all ways that the situation would be addressed without such a huge risk. Instead we just are being asked to write a big fat check.

"The high flying Wall Street wizards who wanted to make big profits in a hurry without assuming the responsibility of the risks are not unlike the teenager who gets addicted to drugs, but knows that his ever gullible parents will always be there to rescue him. They have become “bail-a-holics” and the government has become the ultimate co-dependents, enabling and empowering the recklessly irresponsible with the credit card you borrowed from us.

"Well, this time, Americans are mad. Really mad. They might actually figure out that they DO have the power to do something. They can do what would happen to them if they simply didn’t do the job they were hired to do—they would be fired.

"Maybe it’s time for some of you to experience what many Americans will experience because of you. Maybe some of you should lose your jobs in Congress and come home to live with the rest of us. Just don’t expect a big party to welcome you home. Neighbors can’t afford it. They’re just trying to pay off that big bailout you proudly voted for."

And for today's shoe:
These are the shoes I reach for when someone needs an ass-kicking (pardon my language). And right now that's what Congress needs. A major kick in the ass.
Their story:
I was strolling through my favorite vintage/resale shop and spotted these. I thought, "They're not pink, they don't have a spike heel, there are FLAMES on them, but yet I am still drawn to them." So I bought them. (Along with a cute pair of pink, kitten-heeled mules - just to make sure some balance was kept in the universe.)

*stepping off my shoebox*
-Jenn

Jenmac vs. Caribou Barbie von Mooseburger

2008-10-01T16:50:00.004-05:00

As the election draws dangerously close I started thinking about how well I would match up against Sarah Palin...(and because, well, that's just the sort of thing I do for fun - makes lists of pros and cons, etc. I told you before, I have WAY too much time on my hands.)

Disclaimer: Please keep in mind that this is just for fun. I have friends on both sides of the fence in this battle. I myself am a Libertarian. And since the Libertarian party has as good odds of winning this election as a blind man winning a skeet shooting contest, I'll be voting for Stephen Colbert.

And so begins my own debate, Jenmac vs. Sarah:

Politicians we've encountered:

Palin: Well, she recently met John McCain...

Jenmac: Both Clintons (Bill twice - once as Governor and then again during his first presidential candidacy, Hillary was the speaker at my graduation from Arkansas), grew up around Mike Huckabee and his family, went out with a Senator's son a few times, grew up with a current member of the Arkansas House of Representatives, Ross Perot was a buddy of my grandfather's, had ice cream with Senator Blanche Lincoln - who is a big fan of my son, worked on a PAC for US Congressman John Boozman, lived with a cousin of Homeland Security's Asa Hutchinson (and also interviewed him for an article about his candidacy for US Senate while doing time as a journalism student at Arkansas), decorated the house of an ex-Senator from Arizona (no, sorry to disappoint, it wasn't McCain)...

Advantage: Jenmac

A little bit about our respective states:

Alaska: Population - 626,932, Polar bears, the pipeline, snow-mobile driving rednecks, the Aurora Borealis...

Arkansas: Population - 2,673,400, North America's only Diamond mine, home of Walmart, 4-wheeler driving rednecks, the Ozark mountains...

Advantage: I've gotta call this a draw... wait...we have diamonds...okay....Arkansas wins.

Foreign Affairs:

Palin: She can see Russia from her house!!!

Jenmac: I haven't dealt with foreign politics. However, during my tenure with Wal-Mart International, I worked with colleagues/customers in Mexico, Brazil, Argentina, Germany, China, Korea, and Canada. I also have firsthand knowledge of NAFTA and how it affects American businesses trying to export products to Canada and Mexico. (You're impressed, aren't you?)

Immigration:

Palin: I suspect Alaska doesn't have many immigration problems. In all fairness, I'm not sure as I haven't lived there. But I've never heard stories of Russian immigrants swimming the Bering Strait seeking asylum within our borders, or desperate Canadians hiking the frozen tundra into Alaska.

Jenmac: I live in an area greatly affected by illegal immigration (sometimes even referred to as "Little Mexico" by some of the locals). I've seen the effects. I have been taken out of consideration for jobs because I didn't speak fluent Spanish. I want to find ways to keep America open to those seeking her shelter, but also protect her current citizens as well.

Advantage: Jenmac (because, well, you've gotta admit, that last sentence would make a great soundbite.)

Women's rights:

Palin: Believed women who were victims of sexual assault should have to pay for their own rape kits.

Jenmac: Horrified I had to type the last sentence. (Yes, I know she has changed her mind since then, but still...)

Advantage: Jenmac. (And I'm not touching the abortion issue as I don't believe there is a winning side to that one. There will ALWAYS be fervent supporters on both sides. No one will ever win. We should drop it as a platform for elections.)

Where do you get your news:

Palin: she claims that she has researched a lot to stay in touch with American politics, but couldn't name any magazines, papers, etc. in her interview with Katie Couric despite Katie asking her repeatedly to name just one news outlet.

Jenmac: too much to list here - a lot of thanks goes out to my worster pals who post every article they can find, making it easy to locate meaningful pieces about everything political - from the UK, to Alaska, to Australia and back again (Newsweek, Time, Washington Post, even Rolling Stone offers stories regarding our world, CNN, MSNBC...)

Advantage: Jenmac (if for no other reason than the fact that at least I can name national publications.)

And now let's get down to business and deal with the truly pressing issues:

Beauty pageants:

Palin: 2

Jenmac: 0

Advantage: Jenmac (sorry Sarah, gotta go with brains over beauty)

Number of kids:

Palin: 5

Jenmac: 1

Advantage: draw - Jenmac would have more time to devote to running the country, but Sarah has already been leading a small army of her own.

Wardrobe:

Palin: red and black

Jenmac: open to every color of the rainbow (except navy blue - never been a fan, couldn't say why.)

Advantage: Jenmac. (Sarah, we know you love those Wasilla Warriors, but really...it's okay to wear colors other than those of your high school alma mater.)

Accent:

Palin: Sounds like Frances McDormand in "Fargo"

Jenmac: Sounds like Vivian Leigh in "Gone With the Wind"

Advantage: Jenmac.
And just to prove it: Let's look at every election since 1976. Either the President or Vice President on the winning ticket was a Southerner: GW Bush (twice), Bill Clinton (twice), George H.W. Bush (3 times, including 2 terms as VP), Jimmy Carter.

Wow, what do you know! I'm ready to take on the 2nd most powerful job in the world! Who would've guessed!

Now, I shall don my Tina Fey glasses and to quote the not-often-intentionally funny Paris Hilton, "I'll see you at the debates, bitches."

(And Sarah, if you're reading this: No hard feelings okay. Maybe we could get together for coffee sometime. Who knows, you may have some free time around November 5th.)

(Thanks to my fellow worster, she_is_so_random, for the Palin nickname.)

And now for today's shoe:
These are a great example of adding fun colors to your wardrobe!

Their story:
They're fierce. I bought them. The end.
(Sometimes the best story is the most simple.)

*stepping off my shoebox*
-Jenn

They're at it again...

2008-09-29T15:14:00.004-05:00

The Duggar family just today announced they are having baby number 18. Eighteen. As in 10+8, 9x2. As in a baseball team AND a football team if you count mom and dad.

Wow.

Every time they announce another pregnancy, it always makes me think of when I had Preston. The night before his due date I was having severe pains. I had been having false labor for several days, so I wasn't sure what to make of it. His father said, "don't worry it's not labor, you're just psyching yourself out." Nevermind the fact that my water had broken...but we'll not go into all that...

The next day I had contractions every 15 minutes or so. Finally at 2:00 when they had increased to every 5 minutes or so, I told him, "Take me to the hospital RIGHT NOW!" He got mad because he was trying to nap before work that night. But I think I threatened his life so he promptly got up and took me to the hospital. I normally would never be so rude as to threaten the life of a fellow human, but women in labor cannot be held accountable for the things they utter.

I checked into the hospital right at 2:30. At 2:56 I had a beautiful baby boy. I think I pushed 4 times. Piece of cake. I stood up and started to walk to my recovery room. The nurse said, "oh no, honey, you ride in a wheelchair." I shrugged, "okay, but I'm fine, really."

Preston had some fluid in his lungs, so he had to stay in the hospital for a few days. They let me stay too so I could go to the nursery and see him anytime I wanted. In the middle of the night on the second night I couldn't sleep, so I got up and wandered down the hall to see my little man. On my way past the nurses' station one of the nurses said, "there's Wonder Woman." I laughed. She said, "I've told everyone how amazing your delivery was. In fact, you would have been the easiest delivery we had this week, but Mrs. Duggar was here today giving birth to number 12."

She's had 5 more since then and will now have another next January.

And I thought my life had been exciting since that fateful day in April 2000...

And for today's shoe...
My beat-to-death, scuffed, battered, bruised, worn down Adidas slippers.

Their story:
These babies, unattractive as they may be, saved my life while I was pregnant.

I didn't gain much weight during my pregnancy, only about 25 pounds. I had heard that women had a tendency to get cankles later in their pregnancies. I wasn't too worried about it though since I hadn't gained much weight at all. I made it 7 months and then one day I woke up and *BAM* there they were. Fat, nasty, bloated cankles.

When I got ready for work I tried on all my dress shoes. Nothing fit. I looked over at these and said, "I guess you're it, boys." I velcroed them across my disgustingly bloated feet and headed off to work.

Later that day my doctor took one look at my feet and said, "you've been eating chinese food, haven't you?"

I looked down at the floor like a scolded 3-year-old. "Yes."

"You have to stop."

"Or what?"

"Or the MSG will make you continue to swell."

"Okay."

I continued my daily diet of hunan broccoli chicken with egg drop soup (it's the only thing that didn't make me feel sick). I just ate it with my feet propped up on a pillow with ice packs on top of them. Problem solved...somewhat. The cankles were still there, just not quite as big as they were that first day. So I continued wearing my Adidas sandals and my boss just overlooked the blatant disregard of the dress code.

*stepping off my shoebox*
-Jenn

The Star Wars Gang

2008-09-25T21:47:00.010-05:00

In the early 80's my parents decided to send me to an after-school care run by a little old lady in her home. Aunt Lou. I really didn't understand why I couldn't just stay at home by myself. I was 8 for crying out loud. That's practically grown up. I argued. I lost. I gave up.

The first day my father picked me up from school and took me to Aunt Lou's Playschool. He knocked at the door and we were soon greeted through the screen door by a barrage of boys my age. One of them immediately started saying, "freckle-face, freckle-face." I crossed my arms and looked up at my father expecting him to break down the door and strangle my heckler to defend my honor. Instead he just stood and smiled and waited for Aunt Lou to come let us in. She gave us the grand tour which included an introduction to the rest of the kids. They were all boys. Great. Just wonderful. Not a female in the house besides Aunt Lou, who spent her time in her rocking chair watching "The People's Court" and knitting.

The days passed at a snail's pace. I learned that my nemesis' name was Cody. He was the leader of the "cool" kids. And believe it or not, he was blessed with the same freckles that graced my countenance. Yet he still referred to me as "Freckle-face." The irony of that completely lost in his tiny pea-brain.

I hated going to Aunt Lou's. I loathed it. I decided this was my hell. This was God's punishment for not being nice to Jenny at Kelly's sleepover or whatever other atrocity an 8-year-old can commit. I promised I would go to confession and seek absolution if God would just save me. (Okay, so I'm a little melodramatic. I'm female. It comes with the hormones.)

One day as I sat inside the little plastic refrigerator pondering how to burn the place down and make it look like an accident, I noticed Cody and the boys were playing with *gasp* Star Wars action figures. They even had the Millenium Falcon!!!

I had seen Star Wars, of course and was still reeling with the fact that Vader was Luke's father. I wanted a piece of the action. I wanted to be Obi-Wan in his infinite wisdom. I wanted to feel the power of the Force.

I took a deep breath, crawled out of the refrigerator, and walked over to the boys.

"I wanna play."

"You're a girl."

"No duh, Sherlock."

"Go away, Freckle-face."

I stomped back to the mini-kitchen that I was confined to every afternoon and seethed.
This went on for years in my mind (in actuality it was probably 2 or 3 days).

Then one day, something changed. The boys were whispering and looking at me. Finally one of Cody's henchmen waved me over.

I climbed down from the Fisher Price stove and walked over to them.

"Do you wanna play Star Wars with us?"

I couldn't believe it. I was in. Finally I could carry a lightsaber and battle the evil in the galaxy.

"Well, duh! Of course!"

I sat down with them and Cody reached in his bag of action figures and handed me...a Princess Leia.

"What's this? I wanna be a Jedi!"

"You're a girl, freckle-face. We need a girl to be Leia, so she can cook and clean up after us."

I sighed. I knew if I walked away they'd never let me back in. Leia was better than nothing.

"Fine. But tomorrow I wanna be Obi-Wan."

"Whatever. We'll see."

As the days turned into weeks, every day was the same story. The Star Wars Gang would sit down and Cody would hand us our character for the day. I was always handed Leia. Occasionally they'd give me C3PO too, because according to them, "he's so lame." And if there were only a couple of us there for the day I would get some of the other minor characters. They even let me fly the Millenium Falcon every once in a blue moon. I was having fun and not letting it bother me that I never got in on any of the good fights. Some of the boys even started calling me by my name. (Cody not included.)

At the end of the school year my grandparents offered to let me stay with them, so my time at Aunt Lou's came to an abrupt end. By that time there were other girls enrolling in Aunt Lou's. Although I never got to be Obi-Wan or wield a lightsaber, I made sure Han and Luke were well fed and the Falcon was clean and full of gas, but most importantly I was the first girl in the history of Aunt Lou's to be part of the Star Wars Gang opening the door for my predecessors to join the fight to save the galaxy.

(And oh, how I laughed when Episode VI came out and I realized all that time I had the Force too. It was in me all along.)

And today's shoe:
These are most like the shoes I was wearing back in the Aunt Lou days. Plain black Mary Janes. They're much more functional than most of my shoes, but are still classics.

Their story:
I had a pair of Kenneth Cole black Mary Janes back in college. I loved them. I wore them every day, with everything. Then I got my puppy, Scout. Scout decided he loved them too and ate them. He literally ate them. One of them was gone completely.

For 7 years I searched and searched and couldn't find another pair to replace them - they didn't have the right heel, were too shiny, were too "platformy".

Then my mother called and said she thought she found a pair that were like them. She bought them for me for Christmas 5 years ago. They were perfect! About a month later, I came home from work and found that my roommate's dog had somehow opened the door to my room and guess what he grabbed to chew on. Yep, my black Mary Janes. Fortunately, these escaped with only a small bit of damage. Thank God I didn't have to work late that night! Now they're my bad-weather, go to a soccer game, go on a hike with the Cub Scouts shoes.

*stepping off my shoebox*
-Jenn

Happy Anniversary "Jenmac"

2008-09-25T13:08:00.010-05:00

So, the other day I was on one of my favorite sites, vftw, and I noticed a thread about how each of us came up with our username - mine being "Jenmac" (I'll bet you never would have guessed). Well, in 3rd grade there were 3 Jennifers in my class. Our teacher opened up a discussion saying, "Class, how can we solve this problem?" One boy pointed to Jen Johnson and said, "She's Jen-John," then pointed to me and said, "And she can be Jen-Mc." And so it began. As I explained this fascinating tale to my worster pals, I realized I've had my nickname for 25 years now. "Wow," I thought, "self, this is surely cause for a celebration." I then came to another realization. I really need to get out more. Then I remembered that gas is 4 bucks a gallon and decided to start a blog instead.

And so in honor of the quarter-century birthday of my alter-ego I have now given her a permanent place here in cyberspace and given myself a place to get back into writing. Other than writing movie and music reviews for an online news organization, I haven't done any "fun" writing at all lately. My creative writing is something I used to partake of with much fervor, but has been dying a slow death ever since motherhood and family life took the wheel and drove me off the cliff into domestic bliss.

I must warn you, my train of thought can be quite random at times, but eventually I'll get back to the point I was making. If I don't, just gently nudge me...

And now, for today's shoe...
This is the pair that started it all...
My first pair of Manolo's. They fit me to a T. They're comfy, stylish and go with anything. I've worn them to work, to the movies (on my first date with Joe), to a PTA meeting, to a neighbor's son's birthday party, to church, to the store. I love them!

Their story:
At my last job I earned nice quarterly bonuses. With my first bonus I decided I was spending part of it on something frivolous for myself. After watching WAY too many episodes of Sex and the City, I decided to see what the attraction was to this Mr. Blahnik and his wares. I searched online (we don't exactly have Manolo boutiques in Arkansas) and found these lovelies. When I got them in the mail, I shreiked with glee. At long last...I was a Manolo girl too. They fit like a glove. I damn near wore the things out that first night walking back and forth in front of the mirror. I was so pleased with my purchase, although it was probably the worst mistake I ever made in my life...and thus the addiction began...

*Stepping off my shoebox* (I find that soapboxes are awfully small these days.)
-Jenn